Closing the Door
by Sevs-Girl72
Summary: GideonReid : Reid is still trying to get over the events of 'Revelations'


Gideon and Reid  
Mild spoilers for the last part of season 2.

* * *

"Reid, open the door."

BANG

"I know you're in there."

BANG BANG BANG

"Come on Reid… Spencer, open the fucking door."

But Reid wouldn't move.

He was sitting in the dark, collapsed in the uncomfortable hotel room chair, staring blankly at the door, and listening to the insistent banging. At hearing Gideon swear for the first time, it fazed him for a second, he even almost got up, but it wasn't that hard to believe, consider how pissed he knew the older man was.

But standing in front of the closed door, Gideon wasn't angry, he was scared.

After a few more minutes, he heard Gideon leave, and sagging a bit in his chair Reid was thankful that the immanent threat of having to deal with his infuriated supervisor was gone. Finally able to lay off his guard for a while, he quickly lost himself in the fuzzy drugged out thoughts that were storming through his mind. His eyes frozen, unblinkingly, to the door, but wasn't seeing it

He was still like that as his door made a clicking noise and slowly opened; Gideon framed in the door way.

It was kind of an unspoken rule that when you're on a case, you don't drink. He'd broken it once already with Elle, and look what happened to her. But tonight he couldn't think of anything else he could do. Reid didn't know how Gideon found out, probably the bartender. He was sure that he had been spilling his guts to the guy, about the case and his past. About Gideon and everything and everyone he could think of. The bar tender eventually had cut him off and ordered him to go to his room; why he listened, Reid was still trying to figure out. However it happened, here he was at two in the morning with the furious man glaring at him, eyes full of fire, and Reid knew this was the sink or swim moment that had been building up ever since that night at Marshall Parish.

Gideon walked straight at him and loomed over him.

"What are you trying to do to yourself Spencer? This suffering in silence, letting you figure it out for yourself obviously isn't working. We gave you that much. You miss another plane, drink on a case, rant to a bartender, and whether you think it or not, I know drugs are in there too. What more is there Spencer?"

Reid looked up to him with a completely blank stare. He'd heard the questions, but no answers were coming to him. This wasn't like in New Orleans; then it was just a question about whether he was strong enough to keep going. And he was. He was still sharp, and the bodies no longer haunted him. He didn't think he had the answer.

But he was Dr. Spencer Reid, boy genius of the BAU, he always had answers.

And though he didn't want to, he had the answer.

He was scared.

But for the first time, he just couldn't verbalize it.

"Is this how it's going to be then? Silence?"

Sagging in exhaustion, Gideon walked slowly away from him, collapsing onto the bed, resting his elbows on his knees and hiding his face in his hands; giving himself a second to breath. This whole scenario had been wearing him down more and more. It was easy to tell it was affecting everyone, after already losing him so many times; this was the second time only that he especially was beginning to realize this might be the end. Sometimes the demons do win. Even after Boston, he knew he would be ok after a while, but this was so different.

"What do I do Reid, I already thought I lost you once, I can't do it again."

More silence reigned after that. It hung heavy in the air, neither daring to look at the other.

Gideon couldn't take it anymore, and moved to the door slowly shoulder hunched in defeat. Once they got back to Quantico, he'd see to it that Reid be put to the evaluation board, no matter how much they were going to hate it. This was going to hurt him more so than anything he'd seen or done but it looked like it was the end for their youngest.

Gideon moved for the door handle, cold at his touch sending an eerie shiver down his back. He opened the door only enough to slip through it, not daring to look back, but just before he closed himself away from the man completely, he barely heard the soft whisper come from inside.

"Don't leave."

He let the door swing completely open, but Gideon stayed standing with his back turned.

"Only if you answer everything I ask."

He might not have been able to see Reid, but he knew nonetheless that the man was squirming in his seat. It was what he did when he needed to say something but was to self conscious to say it.

Reid kept his eyes to the ground, not daring to look at the man's back; it would have felt like looking at his last chance of salvation. He had meant it; he didn't want Gideon to leave. But he didn't want it to mean this. He wasn't sure he could open himself up for all to see.

But it wasn't for everyone; it was for Gideon.

Gideon was safe.

Reid closed his eyes, against the sudden tears.

"I will."

_Take all your chances while you can_

_You never know when they'll pass you by_

_Like a sum the mathematician cannot solve_

_Like me trying my hardest to explain_

_It's all about your cries and kisses_

_Those first steps that I can't calculate_

_I need some more of you to take me over_

_Take me over_

_If I had the chance to start again_

_Then you would be the one I'd come and find_

_Like a poster of Berlin on my wall_

_Maybe there's a chance our walls might fall_

_It's all about your cries and kisses_

_Those first steps that I can't calculate_

_I need some more of you to take me over_

_It's all about your cries and kisses_

_Those first steps that I can't calculate_

_I need some more of you to take me over_

_I know I because I cant calculate_

_How to start again_

_How to start again_

_How to start again_

_How to start again_

_It's all about you_


End file.
